Happy Wednesday, dudes! We still can’t get it tf together, but a late post is an improvement over no post at all, right?
So let’s talk about how the 90s are fully back. Lindsey and I are at that age where we get to experience the return of trends we were alive to see the first time, and I don’t know about her, but I’m having flashbacks of my mom telling me that one day I’d know what it was like to see younguns rocking the same styles that I cringe remembering myself in as an adolescent. What my mom didn’t predict is that I’d be HERE FOR IT.
Because honestly, a lot of the 90s stuff that’s coming back right now is stuff I either didn’t get to wear the first time or that I didn’t wear well, and in both cases, this is the moment to redeem myself. Like I wanted a bodysuit SO BAD when I was twelve and coveted my friend Jenny’s collection of them with a passion, but I wasn’t allowed to have one. And look at me now, world! I am a grown woman who owns MULTIPLE bodysuits. Sixth grade me would be so proud.
Actually, while we’re on the subject, let’s just start there:
Look, I don’t know why I love bodysuits so much. It’s not like it’s that big an effort to tuck in a shirt the old-fashioned way, and peeing when you’re wearing one of these suckers is a pain in the ass. But there’s just something so sleek and sexy and weirdly utilitarian about them. I own three, all of them black, and I feel like I could use at least five more.
Rating: 4 out of 5 plaid shirts
This is the perfect hairstyle for when your roots are greasy but the bottom of your hair still looks pretty good/held its wave, and it looks way more effortful than it is. The 90s version tended to be a more structured and was often secured with a scrunchie, duh. The modern version is better, but you gotta tip your hat to the original.
Rating: 5 out of 5 Blockbuster Videos
Lindsey and I are both mom jean devotees. There were some truly atrocious baggy, pleated-waist monstrosities in the 90s, and the updated version is way more streamlined. But the important thing is that these jeans are made to accommodate a big ol’ booty and some thigh meat, and you never have to worry about your crack showing. Sensibility is cool, you guys! That said, I just had to send back a pair of less fitted mom jeans to ASOS because they were straight-up fug, so this isn’t a foolproof formula. You gotta find the right mom jean for YOUR butt.
Rating: 4 out of 5 Bush CDs
Okay, so there are actually some really pretty takes on this trend out there (especially the ones that tie), but I have no neck, so the verdict is: fuck chokers. They make me look like a potato head.
Rating: 1 out of 5 Fairuza Balks
I didn’t really wear lipstick in the 90s–I was more of a Bonne Belle girl. How times have changed! Honestly, I like a brown lip, but it’s no greige, which is the MVP of supposedly drab lip colors. Still, I’m reaching for NYX’s Velvet Matte lipstick in Minx a lot lately, and I won’t lie, it’s just weird enough to feel on-brand to me. And also makes me feel a little like Angela Chase trying to be bad.
Rating: 3 out of 5 The Real World: New Yorks
There you have it, babes! What comebacks are you loving? Which ones should’ve stayed buried with Jonathan Taylor Thomas’s career? Talk to us!
C U Next Tuesday (I mean, probably. Hopefully.)